Week 6

Yes, I am updating my blog again. Finally. I've decided to take off from school for at least the next semester to get myself together and decide exactly what it is I want to do with my life (realistically). Therefore, I will have more time to keep everyone up-to-date with the goings on in my little family.

Speaking of little... My little Oakley is officially 6 weeks old as of Sunday (*tear*). I cannot believe how big she is getting so fast! Seriously, time flies; It's ridiculous. I spazzed the other day when she rolled from her belly to her back twice in a row. (We haven't been successful in getting her to do it since, but I blame that on her being spoiled and wanting to be held all the time.)

I am amazed at how quickly little ones develop their own personalities. She is definitely a diva- who would expect anything less from a daughter of mine- but it seems to me that she is going to be extremely intelligent and funny. Her favorite thing to do is examine things. When she isn't sleeping or eating, she just stares. It freaked me out a bit at first how quiet she gets (I imagined her crying all the time... hey, no complaints here!) There is nothing like that look on her face when she is looking something over for the first time, just figuring it out. I love lighting up our Christmas tree because she just gazes at it in amazement. I don't know what is more beautiful than that. =)

And oh boy does she love her daddy. I am at home with her all day and she is pretty content, but when she sees Drew, she lights up, and he adores her too... of course. It's really sweet.

All-in-all, things have gone really well. Learning to let go of control has been the hardest part about being a new parent. Every day is a new experience and things have not gone quite according to plan, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. I couldn't be happier.

WEEK 28-29

I/we made it to the third trimester! I really cannot believe how fast this has all gone by. Yes, 12 weeks is still a ways to go, but with all of the chaos about to ensue this semester, it's going to go by in a flash. My resolution is to enjoy every moment of having this little baby inside my belly and to savor it. Not much longer until it's the crying, diaper changing, feeding, no-sleeping, stressed mama and daddy frenzy. So for now, I will sleep as much as possible, enjoy the peace and quiet, take time out for myself and my hubby, and love my growing (and undulating) belly until I can't stand it anymore.

School starts a week from tomorrow. I was excited up until now. My attempts to get ahead in my schoolwork have failed thus far, but I'm not giving up. I am off work today so my plan is to get to whipping my brain into shape pretty soon here. I spent about an hour yesterday doing accounting homework. I made it through about 1/3 of a chapter. Yikes. Not sure if it's because I was so completely bored with the material that I had to re-read sections over and over again or if I really just don't understand it.

In my attempts to get my homework done, I went and sat at Starbucks. I went up to the counter to order my grande soy chai, and the guy looked at me all judging and said "Umm, you realize there is caffeine in chai, right?" I wanted to punch him in the face. Instead, I laughed and said, "Yes, and I am allowed to have a small amount of caffeine, thank you." Idiot.

Which reminds me, I AM working on cutting out the caffeine in the next few weeks. I think I've done pretty well so far. I am down to one small caffeinated beverage a day. Yay me.

As for the regular pregnancy stuff, I had my blood tests for gestational diabetes and anemia at my last visit 2 weeks ago. My whole arm turned purple, but I haven't heard anything from the doctor, so I am assuming that is good news. My next visit is scheduled for the 23rd and I get an ultrasound to determine fetal development. Hopefully, because I'm measuring way ahead, they will move my due date up. If not, I already know I'm going to have a chubby little baby. =)

Well, I suppose I should be off doing homework and the million other things that need to get done today.

Weeks 23-24

OMG this is becoming really real. Yes, the 19 week ultrasound made it all "exciting" real; Now I'm feeling the "scary" reality. The "ohmigosh I actually have to push a person out of my body" kind of real. I don't know what to expect and I'm starting to freak out a little.

First of all, there are so many things I have been struggling with. Do I want a natural childbirth? How will I know when I'm going into labor? What if I do something wrong? What if there is something wrong with her? How are we going to afford everything she needs? What if something happens in the next 16 weeks and I lose her? Ugh... I hate this feeling. I know life happens according to His plan, but I've always struggled with control and intense worrying that something is going to go wrong.

It definitely doesn't help that Drew is at his AT for 2 weeks and I'm done with school and have been working less than 22 hours a week. I'm really just bored and have too much time to think. And I'm reading an autobiography in which a woman loses her baby and has to give birth to a stillborn (it was a surprise part of the story... Trust me, I wouldn't have read it if I knew that was going to happen.)

I had another checkup yesterday. My doctor said I am measuring big (about 2 weeks ahead). Of course, that scared the crap out of me and made me worry that I'm eating too much. I know she will be a big baby (I was almost 10 pounds). That scares me too, naturally.

Anyways, my doctor wants me to have another ultrasound in 6 weeks. I can't wait that long to see the baby again and be able to tell that she is okay and healthy. Maybe she will just say that they got my due date wrong and I'm due a little earlier than expected. Next time I go in, I will have a glucose test to tell if I have gestational diabetes and a blood test for anemia. I'm not scared about the anemia because I figure I probably am or will be-- but g.d. scares me.

Blah. I think I just need to do something productive tomorrow to take my mind off all the worrying.

On a positive note, I got my first pair of LOFT maternity pants and they are incredibly comfortable. I've had a hard time dressing for work lately and feeling cute so they were a welcome addition to my wardrobe. I'm also lucky that my boss had a baby about a year ago and was willing to give me all of her maternity clothes. That sure has made my life a lot easier (and my wallet a lot more full).

Week 19- It's a Girl!

Well I don't feel like doing my homework/it's really hard to concentrate on anything else right now when I got a glimpse of this little baby only a few days ago! I wish I could get an ultrasound every day so I could see her whenever I want. We're thinking about doing a 3D real-time ultrasound at a place called Little Wonders in Normal in a month or so. It's really cool what they do, I've been told. You are in a spa-like room and just get to watch your baby move around for 15 minutes or however long you pay for. It's supposed to be a really special bonding experience.

Friday was my 20 week doctor's visit (actually, 19 weeks). The ultrasound technician said that she looks really healthy... YAY! She is 14 cm so about 7 inches long. No word on her weight, but her heart rate was 139, her kidneys are both developed, she has all of her fingers and she had a nice full bladder, which means her digestive system is developing normally. All good news! The best thing was seeing her moving around for the first time. She was sucking her thumb in the pics! So cute.

The tech said that she was quite the squirm worm which made me laugh. She was kicking her legs out and moving her arms around. I've felt her move, but those first really visible signs of life are so special and reassuring. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing thinking that this little thing is growing inside of me. The feeling is completely unexplainable. She kicked my doctor when she was measuring her heart rate too. =) Quite the little sassy thing.

We decided to name her Oakley Mara. Oakley is just a name I came up with a couple years ago, and we picked Mara after a Say Anything song.

Of course, I spent Friday and Saturday shopping for girly clothes. I bought a couple of onesies and dresses... and of course a beanie with a giant purple flower. I know my mom and sister did some damage at Infinitely Sweet in Rockford and got her some really cute stuff. She is going to be so spoiled in an extended family of mostly boys. I am sooooooo excited to get her welcome home outfit... It's an ACU camo tutu I ordered on Etsy and matching hair bow that I'm going to attach to a headband.

Well anyway, that's a brief rundown of my last few days but I am so excited and blessed that our little Oakley is healthy and developing well.

Made it through another month- Week 17

Glory, glory, hallelujah! Marching right on through to the end of month 4. Wa-BAM.

I have officially converted to maternity pants, and boy oh boy (or oh girl) does it feel good. Being a sweatpants kinda gal, this whole stretchy waistband thing ain't a bad deal. I feel like a beautiful glowing whale, and I love the look of relief on people's faces when I tell them I'm pregnant and they say, "Ok, I didn't want to ask..." Although I still haven't had the chance to respond to someone who asks by saying, "Ummm, no I am NOT expecting." Can't wait to do that...

As for new developments in the past 4 weeks since I last posted (hey, I've been busy!), I can say I don't sleep very well due to the necessary bathroom trips every 2-4 hours during the night and the paranoia of rolling over onto my stomach or back. I know it's not THAT big a deal right now, but it's on my mind so my body immediately reacts by jerking me awake. I have a feeling when I'm large and in charge it won't be an issue. I'll need a crane to roll me onto my back or belly.

Also, I never realized how gross pregnancy can be... I'll leave that a lovely little mystery for those of you that haven't experienced it yet. =)

Two weeks ago, Caitlin and I went to Babies R Us and registered for my baby and mommy essentials. We left most of the clothing, bedding, "toys", and any non-gender neutral things until after my next ultrasound (which is 2 weeks from today!). That is going to be the fun part. Everyone's been asking me what I want to have, and I'm inclined to say a girl, but only because I want to have the first girl in the family. In reality, I will be as happy as humanly possible either way. I just want my baby to be healthy!

I spent the day today watching "16 and Pregnant" and crying because I'm so excited to be a mommy for the first time. I can only blame it partially on hormones. I just cannot wait to share this experience with Drew. He is going to be an amazing dad, and I'm hoping I can be everything this little baby needs me to be.

AAAAH my aching everything... Week 13

What a long couple of weeks this has been. Besides the fact that I'm pregnant and exhausted (despite consistently getting 8-10 hours of sleep almost every night), I'm in the midst of preparing for finals AND work has been somewhat of a mad house. Busy busy busy!

In baby news, my clothes are starting to feel tighter around the midsection. I bought my first pair of shorts for the summer at work. Hopefully they still fit when the weather finally gets nice. They have a stretchy waistband, so as long as my butt doesn't get too huge I think I'll be fine. Not really much to update on besides the random mood swings and relentless exhaustion--although I can't complain too much about being tired. I'd rather be tired than nauseous (happy that's over.)

The two things I'm having trouble with are kicking caffeine and eating healthy. The problem with eating healthy is nothing healthy sounds good (and I've gotten to be a REALLY picky eater again). The problem with not having caffeine is I can't make it through an 8-hour work day and a 4-hour class without the boost. I've read that I can have up to 200-mg, but I know it's so much better for the baby if I don't drink it at all. I've still been getting Tazo Chais before work, which isn't the worst for caffeine content (except I drink almost a venti almost every day, which is about 140 mg or less).

Am I a bad parent already? =/

It's Baby Time!

After hearing the baby's heartbeat twice, I suppose I can start a 'baby blog'. I'm not promising anything amazing will come out of this, and the prospect of my ability to commit to keeping a blog is dismal, but maybe this will help me get back into writing the kinds of things I like to write.

So at this point in time, I am just over 11 weeks. Baby is the size of a plum and about 2 inches long, according to my baby book. We had a doctor's appointment on Friday and heard the heartbeat for the second time (155-160 beats per minute, which sounds freaky but is within the range of completely normal). I've heard the higher normal heart rate means it could be a girl, but after my doctor laughed at me when I asked, I've deduced it's definitely a myth. (We'll see about that.)

In a little under 8 weeks, we will have our next ultrasound and know the sex. I cannot wait! I just want to start buying baby clothes. =) I bought our diaper bag the other day, although it will probably end up being my diaper bag as Drew wants to get his own 'manly backpack diaper bag'. I'm amazed at how hard it was to find diaper bag! I looked everywhere- Target, Kohls, JCPenney, TJ Maxx. Finally I went to Toys R Us in Bloomington (which doesn't have a large baby section) and found one. It may be a little early, but I'd rather start investing in baby stuff now than wait until 2 or 3 months before the little one arrives to spend a ton of money all at once.

I'm finally feeling pretty good again. The last 4 weeks weren't a whole lot of fun. I never ended up throwing up, but pretty much felt like I was going to at all waking hours of the day. I lost 10 pounds in the first week after I found out I was pregnant, but my appetite is finally back (with a vengeance), and I've gained 2 pounds back. I think it's time to start lathering my belly up with cocoa butter so I can be like my sister and have zero stretch marks. (Luuuuuucky.)

On that lovely note, I think it's time I get some rest so I can force myself to wake up and do homework in the morning. Wooop.